The Brabus XL-800 Is A Portal-Axled G-Wagen With Almost 800bhp

Brabus, it seems, can’t help itself at the moment. From E53s to lorries to actual islands, there are more products than ever wearing the Mercedes tuner’s big, bold ‘B’ badge for the ultra-wealthy to splurge some hard-earned (or hard-inherited) cash on. Its latest work might be some of its most ludicrous yet, though: meet the Brabus XL-800.

As you’ve doubtless noticed, it’s based on the latest Mercedes-AMG G63, itself essentially a 1960s tower block laid on its side and pumped full of enough power to reverse the Earth’s rotation. Brabus, though, has seen fit to boost its 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 from a faintly ridiculous 577bhp to a truly comical 788bhp.

It’s done this largely by way of two new high-performance turbochargers with reinforced bearings and enlarged compressors, which also boost torque to 737lb ft. Sent through the G’s standard nine-speed auto, the results are 0-62mph in 4.6 seconds and a top speed of 130mph, which are… both slower than a standard G63.

That’s because they’ve been held back to preserve the really impressive bits of the XL-800, which are going in the chassis department. You can’t miss, for instance, the enormous 325-section off-road tyres, shrouding 22-inch heavy-duty forged rims. Brabus has had to restrict the top speed to stop these tyres turning you into an unfortunate TikTok sensation as you tear along the road.

The real headline-grabbers of the XL-800, though, are its portal axles. These raise the axle up above the wheel hubs by way of a system of gears, allowing for massively increased ground clearance – 470mm, in the case of the XL-800. We’ve seen them on a G-Class before, on 2015’s G500 4x4², but that had a mere 416bhp. Not far off twice that grunt in something equally high-riding should give punters some idea of what it’s like piloting a 747.

It’ll probably make a similar din to a jumbo on takeoff, too, thanks to a new stainless steel sports exhaust, the surround of which lights up red when you flick on the interior lighting. Classy. It does at least incorporate a quieter ‘Coming Home’ mode to make your neighbours hate you a bit less (although let’s be honest, if you’ve got one of these, everyone else in your neighbourhood probably will too).

A Brabus wouldn’t be a Brabus without single-handedly propping up Germany’s carbon fibre industry. You’ll find the car world’s favourite lightweight, woven material just about everywhere on the XL-800’s exterior that isn’t a factory Merc part, and among the swathes of grey quilted leather on the inside.

Pricing? That kicks off at €630,767, or around £535,500 – before VAT. Throw that on and, depending on where you live, you’re looking at more than a starter apartment on Brabus Island. But then you could probably live in an XL-800 if you really wanted to.